Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
