yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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