someone threw a dead crab at me
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
