I'm pants shitting drunk right now
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand Curling. That high.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
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