We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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