"it" just moved
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
