I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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