THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
