What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
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I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
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Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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