I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize