I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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