Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
