My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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