I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
