The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
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we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
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No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize