Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
