we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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