I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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