She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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