I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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