Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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