Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
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His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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