the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
accomplished twins. life is a go
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
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Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
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He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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