You made me cry and you don't even care
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize