I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My bed smells like the plague
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
His nipple licking is glorious
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