my room smells like sperm. sweet.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
