If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
