Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
