The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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