turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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