thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
