Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
