Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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