Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
