I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
