I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
