just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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