She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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