My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize