Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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