It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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