I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
