Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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