hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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