this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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