Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
