you guys were way drunker than both of me
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
In America we eat man semen.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize