is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
