I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
