I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize