so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
