eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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