i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
