I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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