Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize