I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
