Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
