i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
