Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
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I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
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We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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